Natalia Antonova

If you work in Russian media, you treat the phrase “British scientists” as a kind of joke - because there is so much research that’s constantly being attributed to “British scientists” out there that it’s hard to keep track of what’s fact and what’s fiction.

Which is kind of annoying because, for example, this week we were all treated to a genuine and genuinely cool news story on how plants communicate. To sum it up, it would seem that researchers at Exeter University were able to film a cut cabbage releasing a special kind of gas that warned nearby plants of potential trouble. They did so by modifying the cabbage’s genes first - so that the gas would actually show up on camera.

I went to the Exeter University website just to make sure that this wasn’t some kind of fake news report - and apparently, it isn’t. Gazeta.ru has since picked up the news and published it in Russian. Prompting a new round of jokes, of course, but at least the information is legit this time around.

Of course, the communication efforts of plants are not new to science. Some plants can even be manipulative, controlling jerks - just check out how the acacia can enslave her bullhorn ant friends. The ants are basically addicted to the acacia’s sweet nectar - and the acacia takes on the role of the evil drug-pusher in this story. First it gets you hooked on the juice, then it has you out on the streets, doing its dirty work (i.e. - the ants will protect the acacia from nearby herbivores, and will even attack other plants competing for sunlight nearby).

Why, this entire story of the acacia and the bullhorn ants is a bit like a metaphor for America’s addiction to oil!... Well, maybe. I’m not sure if I can stretch this metaphor all that far, though I really want to. Either way, the acacia has evolved to be one step ahead of the ants - even though it’s a plant, and we don’t normally think of plants as being evil masterminds of any sort (hilariously bad sci fi movies such as “Day of the Triffids” notwithstanding - incidentally, this was remade recently by the BBC... Why, God, why?!).

So if they can control bullhorn ant populations and send signals to their neighbors about potential dangers, what else can plants do? Besides the tiny, insignificant task of keeping the air on our planet fit for our consumption, that is? Well, I’m not a botanist, but I do aim to keep track of such studies in the future. If only because they make it abundantly clear just how important it is for us to keep protecting our plant friends (in case they rise up to overthrow us after all).